I started this blog with every intention of getting a routine started. However, life happened and I got taken away from writing. It depresses me to be away from something that I love so very much. I don’t feel like myself.
So I decided that I want to make this year better for not only myself but the blog. I want to write more not only about family things but, travel, health, and life. These are all things that make a woman, not just a mommy. Yes, we have the mommy title but that’s not all we are or at least I don’t think that’s all I am.
Hopefully the start of your 2016 was a good one. Let’s make this year great.
I knew when I had children they would have strong personalities. Little did I know they would challenge me every single day. Ethan and Emma are not only stubborn but they are at times over-bearing if not infuriating. There are times I feel like I am battling the Walking Dead. (Except there’s no Daryl. I feel like a Daryl would help.)
Ethan is still fighting sleep with a vengeance. I honestly don’t know how he can function with the few hours he does get. I’m getting to the point that I want to take every single thing out of his bedroom and leave him with just his toddler bed. Everything distracts him. Everything becomes a toy or some device to keep his mind occupied. Today for instance he decided that emptying out drawers in his changing table was a great way to not only make a mess worthy of awards but it got mommy to come up.
However, if I were to say tell him to sleep and close the door again. He would proceed to run full force into the door. The banging sound echoing throughout the whole top floor and wakes up his sister. (Oh yeah, that happened.)
Ethan dominates a situation in a way that a two year old boy can. I thought I had seen it all in daycare but apparently when my husband’s genes merged with mine it made a crazed version of X-men.
Emma on the other hand has the perfect pint-sized diva persona going on and is the best dramatic actress. She can fall to the floor immediately after being told no or give you the best death look. You actually feel the heat from the stare. She also likes to swat at you if something is taken from her. You know, plastic pieces of toys in the mouth or dried up peas off the floor. I mean truly they must have a flavor of fine wine if she’s fighting for them.
My favorite from Emma is her use of the word “share.” It’s a constant lesson that children need to learn as they grow. Emma uses it as the keyword to get whatever she wants. Ethan for instance could take her pink princess car. Immediately she will stomp over to him and say in his face, “SHARE.” That means Ethan must surrender the toy at that moment because the word “share has been spoken.”
The husband and I have explained many times that is not how sharing works but Emma continues to ignore us. Clearly we parent-folk know nothing of the toddler world.
Everyday I am amazed by how these two are developing but I also fear for my life. What is it going to be like as they get older? Am I armed with what I need to defeat the spirited children?
The family and I got back from our second ever beach vacation as a family of four. The first time we took the twins to the beach was when they were nine months. We went to the Outer Banks and let’s just say it wasn’t the best time ever.
Nine month olds at the beach may be fun for some. It wasn’t for the husband and I. We spent most of our time at the beach house praying the kids would take their two naps so that one of us could soak up some sun. Sadly, it didn’t work out the way that we wanted it to but that’s just how the parenting cookie crumbles.
This time my parents came with us to Bethany Beach, Delaware. I’d never been there before but had heard good things about it. Women in my book club raved that it is family friendly and perfect for a family with toddlers. Happily, it was fun with the kids. They enjoyed playing at the boardwalk and getting ice cream. They enjoyed playing in the sand on the beach.
The only things that were nightmares were going out to eat and sleeping.
Ethan and Emma were in one bedroom together. We put the mattresses on the floor so that the kids wouldn’t fall out of bed. Emma manages to fall off any bed with the greatest of ease. The girl is accident prone but more on that in a later entry.
Ethan and Emma refused to sleep more than a few hours at night. We would put them down at 8pm thinking that they would pass out from playing all day. However, they proceeded to run around and scream until 11pm. They then would fall asleep and wake up at 6am ready to start the day all over again.
Napping was a whole other thing that they simply skipped. And that’s where the issues began when it came to eating. They would be SO exhausted by the time we were getting ready to go out for dinner that they would pass out. It didn’t matter where they fell asleep but they would and there was no waking them up. We forced them to go out ONE night to a nice Italian place and hell broke loose. They screamed and yelled. They didn’t want to eat and it ended up with me in the car watching a movie with them.
Granted, the trip wasn’t all bad. There was a lot of nice times where husband and I could go out on our own while the grandparents snuggled the babies. I also loved collecting shells with my son and splashing in the water with my daughter. I’ve learned that no family vacation is going to be perfect but I sure hope it gets a little easier.
Yesterday I tried to tell my husband that taking the twins to the grocery store should be an olympic sport. They are perfect little angels for him when they go together. They hug each other, giggle, and point out things to daddy in their cute little voices. What mommy gets is hitting, fighting, biting, and screaming. Yes, lots and lots of screaming.
Emma was in a mood yesterday. Some would say that she woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I say that her halo fell crooked. Nothing made her smile. Ethan tried to give her toys and her cup. This usually would make her smile but instead she hit him and lunged at him zombie style to bite whatever body part was exposed. (Isn’t she such a lady?)
I mean I do understand the moodiness. I mean I’m that way when I have PMS. I lunge for a candy bar and chips just like that but it’s not how I act all the time.
Of course when the husband suggest I go to the grocery store to, “get them out of the house” I thought he was crazy. However, I wanted to pretend that there was some hope. I mean we all strive for the positivity, even when we are realists.
So off to Wegmen’s we went.
The nightmare began somewhere between the pharmacy and produce. Emma wanted to see a Mickey book and I told her no. She let out a high pitched banshee cry right there in the middle of the store. I proceeded to push the cart a little faster and put my head down. I thought maybe if I ignored her then it would get better.
It was a temporary fix.
Moments later, for no reason Ethan slaps Emma upside the head. She begins to wail and I hurried up and got the rest of the items I needed for dinner. Everyone was starting to look at me and I just gave them that awkward smile.
Once in the check-out line Emma was in full on tantrum mode. I gave in and shoved a Sophia the First juice in her hands. She got quiet then and only then. The damage however had been done at that point. I apologized for my child’s behavior to all those who had been within a hundred yards of my cart. I would have even apologized to the aliens in outer space if they had been picking up the staples for their long journey home.
So to those mommy-folk who have had a child freak out. I have now fully experienced it and truly understand. I am one of you.
This whole binky thing is harder than it looks. I have heard stories where magically the kids don’t care anymore that they don’t have binkies. I seriously wish that was the case with my kids.
Just today Ethan was playing in the little kitchen. I heard him grilling up whatever his little heart desired. I heard him mumbling to himself. I like to imagine he is creating his own special recipes. I mean there are so many ways to grill up plastic food. Anyway, a few minutes later he comes around the corner and Emma says, “Binky!” I turn to see Ethan with a binky in his mouth. He had been hoarding some in the play kitchen. The husband took it from him and the screams poured out of his mouth. I had to bribe him with Cookie Crisp cereal to calm him down.
The nights haven’t been so rough with Emma but Ethan has been struggling. Two transitions rather close to each other has been so easy with Ethan. He wants the comfort of his beloved binky to help him feel comfortable in his new bed. However, I think his teeth will thank me.
Do you have any stories about binkies? Did you have one?
Ethan and Emma are going to be two in September. I can’t believe that they are really two. Where did the time go? I seriously do feel like I just brought them home from the hospital.
Now with turning two I know that there are certain things that need/could be achieved in this year. You know things like potty training and for our twins the disappearance of the beloved binky.
I won’t lie when I tell you I will miss giving my children one of the things that will calm them in a matter of a moment. Any tantrum or sleep probably could be cured with giving them one. We have had at least twenty of them at any given time because God forbid we lose one. All hell would break lose and I would want to run for the closet.
However, we decided that this was the week that we start them off cold turkey. No more binkies. I am terrified that nap time and bed time. There will be screaming and mommy and daddy won’t have ear plugs. Please give us strength.
The Binky Wars have begun.
Before I had my children I didn’t have a lot of female friends. I did have my very close female friends that mattered to me most. As I got older the friendships thinned out and few remained.
Then I got pregnant.
The husband and I moved to a new neighborhood and then we had the twins. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself. I started meeting neighbors and a whole network started forming. I started to have friends. Yes, women friends.
My mother in law always talked about her “patio ladies.” They were a group of women from her neighborhood that got together to drink some wine and talk about whatever was going on in their lives. They get together once a month or so just to spend time with one another. It sounded great for her but I wasn’t sure that I wanted it for myself.
It turns out I did.
I joined a neighborhood book club and BAM I started to meet these amazing women. They all have their own stories and personalities that I love. We get together once a month and talk about books and whatever is going on in our lives. We do talk about our kids and parenting but we also drink a lot of wine, eat a lot of snacks, and complain about things that annoy us. I love it. I cherish it. I crave it.
I’ve also made some great new friends. One of which invited me over just this morning for a nice hot cup of coffee, because let’s face it I never get one of those anymore. The kids got to play together and we talked. It was also a quality ADULT conversation that I so crave while being a stay at home mom.
Quality mommy friends are a must I have learned. The world of mommy-hood is not something you should explore alone. There are just things that daddy-folk just don’t understand. We need “our people” to help us feel like there is someone else to help us navigate and keep us from wanting to throw our children outside. We want to know that there is someone else who feels like they need to have a whole bottle of wine for dinner one night or want to lock themselves in the bathroom just to pee in peace.
Please mommy-folk find your people and bond. They are some of the most important friendships.